Tainted Wisdom

This was my introduction to the definitive 20 steps, but I am abandoning the attempt because I am an idiot and no one should listen to my crap:

“I have decided to write a self-improvement guide consisting of 20 steps. Granted I am so far from perfect it isn’t funny, but I am in a lot better shape, make more money, have obtained more education, have traveled more places, and have otherwise done many more things with my life than most of my middle-aged peers. I am even an aspiring writer. My greatest weaknesses are in relationships and family, so in good faith, I cannot make these things part of my 20 steps. In other words, my proffered 20 steps will be solely focused on improving the self in ways that are solely in your control. And here are THE DEFINITIVE 20 STEPS:”